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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148211">someone will love you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MARIG0LDS/pseuds/MARIG0LDS'>MARIG0LDS</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>On My Block (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Female Character, Drama, F/M, Finale spoilers, Infidelity, Insecurity, Loneliness, Post Season 3, Secrets, Smut, Summer, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:36:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,139</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MARIG0LDS/pseuds/MARIG0LDS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Elena's heart has always been too big for her body.<br/>And when she gets a new neighbor, her heart grows a little bit more. </p><p>(Even though he has a wife and a kid on the way.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oscar "Spooky" Diaz/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>someone will love you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elena didn't mean to fall in love with Oscar.</p><p>Elena never really ever meant to fall in love with anybody, but it always happened anyway. It was something she couldn't seem control. She was one of those people that had a lot of love to give, but never saw it returned fully. In every relationship there is always someone who loves the other at least a little bit more. And that person was always Elena. She couldn't help it. Her heart was too big for her body. </p><p>Elena had dated seven people in her twenty years of life and she had come to the conclusion that they all had only ever really liked her - never loved. And if they did love her, their love varied greatly from Elena's version. It had been two years since she had even liked anyone. It was kind of a record for her. </p><p>A record that was broken on a hot June afternoon.</p><p>She lays on a towel in her front yard, her only clothes being a skimpy bikini as she tried to catch even more of a tan than she already had. The sound of a Uhaul pulling up in front of the house that had been empty since January was a cause to peek open one of her dark brown eyes. She pushes herself up on her elbows, shielding the sun from her pupils to see two men jump out of the truck. </p><p>They walk to the back of the truck and raise the backdoor. The sound of a car rounding the corner took her attention away from the men and she whips her head to see a cherry red Chevy Impala riding down the street. It pulls up behind the truck and a man steps out of the driver seat. He has a head full of black, curly hair and facial hair. He's beautiful. So beautiful it takes her two whole minutes to notice the woman that accompanied him and her large stomach. Elena could feel her heart sink into her stomach.</p><p><em> He was married and had a kid on the way. </em> Any reasonable person would've left it at that. They would've found someone new to crush on. And for once in her life, Elena does.</p><p>Well, at least she tries to. </p><p>It gets a lot more complicated the next day when her mom approaches her as she sits at the kitchen counter smacking the last remnants of a fruit cup into her mouth.</p><p>"Elena," she calls. "Did you know a new couple moved in next door yesterday?</p><p>"Yeah, I saw them."</p><p>"Well, I was thinking of bringing them something to welcome them to the neighborhood. Got any ideas?"</p><p>"I could bake," she suggests. "You think they'd like snickerdoodles?"</p><p>"I don't know, but it's worth a shot," she shrugs, fixing the badge on her scrubs. "Maybe bake that and something else, just as a backup."</p><p>Elena nods, tossing the plastic cup on the counter. "I’m on it."</p><p>Her mom smiles, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "Okay, I've got to go. <em> Te quiero mucho. </em>"</p><p>“<em> Te quiero, mama. </em>”</p><p>The next afternoon, Elena and her mother walk next door together. Her mom has the basket of brownies and snickerdoodles in hand as Elena has her arm looped in hers. Her long black hair is held back by two braids that fell into ponytails. She wears a simple outfit: jeans and a yellow blouse while her mother was sporting her blue scrubs as she planned to take off to work after this drop off. They walk up the steps together and Elena took her arm from her mother's as she knocked on the door. </p><p>She could hear some shuffling and within seconds the door was being opened. The woman she had seen two days ago stands in front of them, her hair in a bun and a layer of sweat on her tan, seemingly flawless skin. She smiles at the pair.</p><p>"Hello."</p><p>"Hi!" her mom exclaims. "My name is Angelica and this is my daughter Elena. We're your neighbors to your left and wanted to just introduce ourselves and welcome you to the neighborhood."</p><p>"Oh, how sweet!" Leti smiles. She turnes her head to inside the house. "Babe, come here!"</p><p>A moment later the man from yesterday appears from behind her. He's significantly taller and like her is layered in sweat. The way his wife beater clung to him didn't go unnoticed by Elena.</p><p>"What's up?" he asks.</p><p>"These are our neighbors, Elena and Angelica," she introduces, gesturing to each one respectively. "They came to welcome us."</p><p>"Nice to meet you guys," Oscar smiles, shaking their hands.</p><p>Elena notices his deep dimples and pearly white smile. Maybe it was that, or the fact he had muscles for days, or the way his eyes sparkled as he smiled, but it was then Elena knew it was too late to keep her promise to herself. </p><p><em> I'm sorry, Leti </em> , she apologizes mentally as she watches the woman smile brightly at her husband and hold her belly proudly. <em> I'm so, so sorry. </em></p><p>They end up talking way longer than expected because Angelica lost track of time and has to rush to work, leaving Elena alone with the couple. They invite her into the home that was still filled with half unpacked boxes. The house is as she remembered it from all the babysitting she did for her old neighbors. They were a sweet old couple who took care of their grandchildren because their parents were "just not fit for it" in their words. She had to admit the absence of the smell of old lady perfume and borderline racist decorations made the home more compelling. </p><p>"We wanted to throw a sort of get to know us barbecue next week for everyone in the neighborhood," Oscar reveals, handing Elena a glass of water. Their fingers brush, making Elena's face heat up. It's a moment Oscar didn't even regard as anything, he probably doesn't even notice. But Elena does. Elena notices everything. "Do you guys think you could come?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'll be there for sure. My mom works nights, so I doubt she'd be able to make it, but as long as I bring her a plate home she'll be satisfied," Elena jokes and the couple across from her laugh.</p><p>"Do you think you could bake something? These cookies are so good," Leti praises, taking another bite of her snickerdoodle. </p><p>"Yeah, sure I'd love to," Elena smiles. "I work at a bakery in town. I'll be able to bake whatever you guys want."</p><p>“Ah, you’re such an angel!” Leti exclaims.</p><p>Despite the belittling tone that Elena heard in her mind, Leti is being genuine about her statement. Elena even knows it. She doesn't think the woman in front of her had a mean bone in her body.</p><p>Leti Diaz was perfect.</p><p>Elena wants to hate her. It would make her feel better about her immoral attraction to Oscar and the inevitable affair they were to have behind her back if his wife was a total bitch. But she isn't.</p><p>Leti Diaz is sweeter than candy without even trying. </p><p>And Elena can't help but be sick by it. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Elena sits away from everyone as she watches Leti sneak up behind Oscar and tap him on the butt. She watches as he turns around and gives her that big, dimpled smile she had been dreaming of since the week before. </p><p>She sips on her beer as she watches him pull Leti into a passionate kiss. She almost tears up watching the scene in front of her. The overwhelming sense of jealousy and longing rushing into her veins. </p><p>At this point, Leti is just showing off.</p><p><em> She has to know about my feelings, </em> Elena thinks as she watches the couple talk, his hands on her waist and her hands sitting on his biceps. She downs the rest of the beer, throwing it on the ground when it's empty.</p><p>“You inconsiderate ass bitch.”</p><p>Elena looks over to see Carmen walking up to her, a playful smile on her face. Sunglasses block her probably red eyes. Her highlighted, dark hair is braided into two. Her tall, slim legs are shown off in her short shorts just like her belly button that peeks from under her red crop top.</p><p>“You know damn well we’re in a global warming crisis and you’re just gonna litter without a second thought?” she feigns anger. </p><p>“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you went MIA on my ass to go be in some tree hugging demonstration,” Elena prompts as Carmen sits next to her.</p><p>“Fuck no,” Carmen shoots down. “Moms sprung an impromptu visit to my <em> tio’s </em> spot up in Monterey.”</p><p>“Ah, I see. You were so busy getting brunch with the white stay-at-home moms to send a text.”</p><p>“Nah, my mom threw my phone out the window on the way up.” The memory seems to bring back the anger. “She got mad as shit I was ignoring her in the car.”</p><p>“Damn, that’s tough.”</p><p>“Tell me about it,” she huffs. “Now I gotta put in extra time at the restaurant so I can save and buy a new one.”</p><p>Carmen pulls out a pack of Newports and lights up a cigarette. Elena watches as her friend inhales and blows out smoke. It takes her back to junior year when she started and tried hiding the smell with fruity Bed, Bath and Body Works perfume. Obviously, it didn’t work very well. Her mom found out within a week. Her mom is attentive that way. Carmen can't hide anything from her which sucks for Carmen because she has a lot of shit to hide.</p><p>Nevertheless, it forces Carmen to get really creative. To this day, Elena has never seen someone with so many man made hiding places in their house. The most impressive one being the hollowed out cable box in her room where a bottle of tequila and her weed stash sat. </p><p>“Why don’t you ask Tony to get you one?” Elena questions. </p><p>“Fuck that <em> puto </em>. He fucking dumped me the day I left.”</p><p>“You gave his sister a broken nose and a black eye. Were you not expecting that to happen?” </p><p>“Whatever, man,” Carmen waved the conversation away. “Point is, I don’t got a phone so if you wanna come see me you’re gonna have to stop by the house.”</p><p>Elena meant to reply, but Leti and Oscar approaching the two women took her attention away. </p><p>“Elena!” Leti greets, happily, her arm looped through Oscar’s. “I’ve been meaning to find you to tell you how absolutely delicious your cheese danish’s are. You’ve really got a gift, you know.”</p><p>“Thank you, Leti,” Elena offers a fake smile back.</p><p>“Have you two eaten yet?” Oscar asks.</p><p>They shake their heads. “No, I hadn’t gotten around to it yet.”</p><p>“And I just got here,” Carmen adds.</p><p>“You’re Marina’s girl, aren’t you?” Leti asks. “I ran into her at the store yesterday. She’s so sweet.”</p><p>“Yeah, to you,” Carmen whispers under her breath.</p><p>“Make sure you both grab some food,” Oscar says. “I didn’t slave over that grill for nothing.”</p><p>The girls offer him small statements of reassurance before the two take off to start a conversation with more neighbors. Elena’s longing stare at the tall, buff man doesn't go unnoticed by her friend. Carmen snorts, shaking her head with a smile on her face.</p><p>Elena tears her stare away from Oscar and turns to her cackling friend, says, “<em> Qué te pasa? </em>”</p><p>“You’re a fucking trip, man,” Carmen can’t seem to stop laughing. When she finally can sober up a little, she wipes tears from her eyes. “The fucking neighbor’s husband… really?”</p><p>“Shut up!” Elena sushes her. She whips her head to make sure the two didn’t overhear. She sees them still happily chatting with an older lady that lives down the street. “And it’s not funny.”</p><p>“When Leti’s beating your ass in the street, it will be.”</p><p>“She’s pregnant.”</p><p>“She won’t be forever.”</p><p>“I think she’s too perfect to ever hurt someone. She’s probably the kind to ignore it so she can keep living in her little perfect family fairytale. Or just file for divorce and disappear with the kid,” Elena guesses, watching the woman as she leaned into Oscar more.</p><p>“Either of those would be the best possible outcome of you fucking her husband,” Carmen shrugs. </p><p>“And the worst possible scenario?”</p><p>“She beats your ass in the street,” Carmen repeats, seriously. “Or worse, she’s an ex chola like Oscar’s an ex cholo and she calls up some of her chola friends.”</p><p>“<em> Qué? De qué hablas? </em>” Elena’s eyebrows furrow.</p><p>“He had a small tattoo under his left eye and a tattoo on his neck removed.” Elena looks back over at the man, trying to spot it from afar. “No doubt a tear drop and gang tattoo he’s trying to pretend didn’t happen.</p><p>Elena can't see anything from where she sits, but she makes a mental note to look for something when she gets closer to him. She had noticed the tattoos on his arms. <b>Only God Can Judge Me.</b> Maybe he was religious? Plus, every guy seemed to have that basic ass tattoo. As much as she tries to rationalize, the thought stays in the back of her head for the rest of the night.</p><p>It's dark out, now. The stars are shining beside the moon that glowed from above. The last of the people are leaving. Elena watches as Oscar bids them a farewell. When the last walk out, she approaches him. </p><p>“I think you’ve won over everyone in the neighborhood,” Elena smiles at him.</p><p>“You think so?” he asks, hopeful.</p><p>“<em> Seguro, </em>” Elena nods. “You’re probably the number one house on the block now.”</p><p>“Yeah, well I hope so,” he sighs, walking back into the backyard. He begins trying to straighten up the table. “It meant a lot to Leti that we were close with our neighbors. She was so happy after you left last week.”</p><p>Elena frowns, a ping of guilt making its way back into her heart. She swallows, sticking her hands into her back jean pockets. “Speaking of Leti, where is she?”</p><p>“She got tired so she retired early,” he answers, collecting abandoned paper plates and throwing them in the trash bag he untied from the tree. Elena watches his every movement, the way his shirt strained around his muscles when he reached out far or his pants constricted when he bent down. </p><p>“Want me to stick around and help clean up?” Elena offers. “This place is kind of trashed and I’d feel bad if I left you all alone to clean it up.”</p><p>“Oh, no,” he shakes his head. “You don’t have to. I got it.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I want to,” Elena replies. She doesn’t wait for him to contest again before she begins walking around the yard and picking up trash. Her trash bag fills up quickly and as she turns to go grab another one from the box on the table she runs into Oscar’s chest. </p><p>“Oh shit, sorry,” he apologizes, catching her. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Elena laughs, trying to ignore how her arm burned from his touch.</p><p>He extended his hand out to her, a new trash bag sitting in his grasp. She smiled at him, taking it from him. “Thanks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>Elena looks at the two spots Carmen mentioned earlier and she can see what she was talking about now. There's a small dot under his eye that was a bit lighter than the rest of his skin. Same thing for a large portion of his neck. </p><p>“So, Oscar,” Elena clears her throat, trying to ease the awkwardness she felt. “What prompted your move to Bakersfield? New job, wanted a change of scenery <em> o qué?” </em></p><p>“Little bit of both,” he answers, beginning to fold the various metal chairs back up and stack them. “Got a job cooking for a restaurant in town. Not too fancy, but fancier than most.”</p><p>“Oh, so like Chili’s?” Elena clarifies.</p><p>“Ha ha, you’re so funny,” Oscar rolls his eyes playfully at her.</p><p>Elena laughs as she bends down to pick up an empty Coke can. “No, but seriously that’s awesome. You seem really passionate about it.”</p><p>“Thanks,” he smiles at her. “So what’s up with you and baking? You want that to be your career?”</p><p>“Yeah, I actually go to Berkeley for business,” she reveals. “When I graduate I wanna start my own bakery. I’ve been working at T&amp;T since I was sixteen. Figured it would be good to get the inside scoop before getting out there in the real world next year.”</p><p>“You wanna build your business in Bakersfield?” he asks.</p><p>“Nah, Bakersfield is boring,” Elena deadpans. “Probably gonna move down to LA. Or up to San Fran. I need a big city for good business. Places like Bakersfield people just go to the store and get a tin filled with factory manufactured cookies.”</p><p>The statement is cause for a loud laugh to escape Oscar’s lips. “Damn, you right.” </p><p>For the next hour, the two converse as they clean. They learn a lot about each other. Well, Oscar learns a lot about Elena. Whenever Elena asks him about his childhood or his life before Bakersfield, he would get closed off and quickly turn the conversation back to her. </p><p>Elena doesn’t mind too much. She wants him to open up to her at his own pace. That didn’t stop her from trying to find out information on her own, though.</p><p>When she returns to her room later that night she goes straight for her laptop that is sitting on her desk. She types in the state records government website and searches his name. She taps her thigh as her eyes track the loading bars. After a minute, a list of different Oscar Diaz’s popped up.</p><p>Oscar had said he was twenty-six in their conversation the week before, so that narrowed all the results to three. And she knows he lived in Los Angeles previously which knocked out the Oscar Diaz from Modesto and Fresno.</p><p>She clicked on the last one left - the one that had to be him. A page came up that listed his description and his family members.</p><p><b> <em>Ray Diaz<br/>
</em> </b> <b> <em>Jimena Diaz<br/>
</em> </b> <b> <em>Cesar Diaz</em> </b></p><p>He has a brother. Something he definitely didn’t mention when they were talking about siblings earlier.</p><p>Elena bites her lip and clicks the link that reads ‘Download Report.’ She opens up the document, her eyes immediately scanning for his charges. There were a lot of misdemeanors: DWIs, DUIs, reckless driving, trespassing, etc. A lot of them were while he was still a minor. She looks for any felonies and only one was printed: drug distribution/intent to distribute.</p><p>She reads more and learns he was supposed to serve eight years, but his time got cut in half on good behavior. He was released three years ago. She decides to google his name for any social media, but nothing came up. </p><p>With a huff, Elena closes the computer. She wants to text Carmen everything, but the dumb bitch had no phone. </p><p>“Hey, sweetie.”</p><p>Elena looks up to see her mom standing in the doorway, exhaustion clear on her face. “Hi.”</p><p>“What are you still doing up?” Angelica asks.</p><p>“Just got in from the cookout,” Elena answers. “Helped Oscar clean up.”</p><p>“Oh, how was that?”</p><p>“It was good, but I gotta work tomorrow, so I think I’m gonna knock out,” Elena says and Angelica nods.</p><p>“Okay. Night, sweetie.”</p><p>The door closes, but Elena stays up for hours thinking about Oscar. Thinking about what she would look like next to him. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <b>JULY</b>
</p><p>Over a month has passed since Oscar moved in next door and things had been going really well in Elena’s eyes. She's gotten a lot closer to him as the hot days blurred together. Whether it's showing up at his work or him showing up to hers for some sort of sweet treat.</p><p>Unfortunately, getting close to him also meant getting close to Leti for the time being. She is usually with him during these surprise visits or even the family dinners that included Elena and her mother when she didn’t work. At first, Elena could deal with it. She figured it to be a price she had to pay before she got her payoff. But as time went on and Elena’s feelings for Oscar grew, the guilt began taking a toll on her.</p><p>
  <em> “You’re such an amazing neighbor and friend, Elena,” Leti hums into her ear as she holds her in a tight embrace. She pulls away, smiling at the girl. “I don’t know what Oscar and I would do without you and your mom here welcoming us like this.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, I’m sure you guys would’ve been just fine,” Elena brushes her off, the guilt beginning to eat away at her insides.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sure, we would’ve been fine, but with you we’re great,” Leti says, her voice becoming hoarse with emotion. Elena watches in terror, praying to the Gods for her not to cry. Leti leans into her, well as far as she could go with her almost fully grown bump. “Let me let you in on a little secret. Oscar and I have been considering making this one’s middle name Elena.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Elena is at a loss for words. Her mouth parts to speak, but nothing comes out. Elena surely would have begun crying if it wasn’t for Angelica and Oscar walking into the living room. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Tonight was so fun. Same time next week?” Angelica asks, standing next to Elena. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Same time next week,” Oscar and Leti reply with bright smiles. </em>
</p><p>Ever since then, Elena did her best to try and avoid Leti. She can't at the weekly dinners for obvious reasons, but when she would catch sight of her at the local grocery store (which happened a lot for some reason) she’d turn the other way, and immediately run to check out. She stopped tanning on her front lawn because Leti would see her out of her living room window and walk over to make conversation.</p><p>“What the hell are you gonna do when she gives birth next month?” Carmen asks, sparking up the blunt that sat between her lips. She inhales and then removes it to blow out the smoke out her cracked window.</p><p>“Don’t know,” Elena shrugs from across from her. “She says she wanted me and my mom to be there when she goes into delivery. I even helped her and Oscar pack her hospital bag the other day. I had to listen to her long tangent on why organic diapers are the best option for babies and why all other mothers are wrong. It was fucking torture.”</p><p>“Are you their fucking slave or something?” Carmen criticizes. “I know you don’t see it because you’re in love with Oscar or whatever, but that’s fucking weird. You’re way too involved in their lives. It’s like they’re obsessed with you.” She gasps. “What if they want you to be their third?”</p><p>“Their what?” Elena squints in confusion. </p><p>“Their third!” she repeats, handing me the blunt. “It’s like they both like you and wanna get freaky with you, but you’re also like a built in nanny.”</p><p>“Fuck no,” Elena shakes her head, taking a hit. She releases the smoke and says, “I go back to Berkeley next month, I don’t have time to be a fucking nanny for some mysterious ass couple. You know, in all this time Oscar still hasn’t brought up his past.”</p><p>“He ain’t even admit to having a brother?” Carmen asks, taking the blunt from Elena and hitting it.</p><p>Elena shakes her head. “Nope. And I’ve been in their house a billion times. All the pictures they have are just them or with Leti’s family. It’s kinda weird how they’re just trying to brush away his past, don’t you think?”</p><p>“I mean, I guess,” Carmen shrugs. “I don’t know. He killed someone and did time. And I hear if gangbangers get out of the life, it ain’t happen easily. They don’t just let ‘em walk away, <em> tu sabes. </em> Whatever he did to be playing suburban dad in Bakersfield and not dead in a ditch had to be a lot.”</p><p>Elena leans her head against the window sill. She couldn’t help but wonder what he did to make it out. And if his brother was the one who had to pay the price for it. </p><p>“Have a great day,” Elena smiles at the customer, handing her bag of cupcakes. The customer, a middle aged white lady, offers a smile and a small ‘thanks’ before walking out of the door. Coming in behind her was a man Elena recognized well.</p><p>“Look who the cat dragged in,” Elena jokes, retying her apron behind her back. </p><p>Oscar laughs, walking up to the counter. “<em> Cómo estás?, El? </em>”</p><p>“It’s whatever,” Elena replies, trying to hide the way her cheeks heat up when he uses the nickname he made for her. “Trying to make it through this shift. What brings you by?”</p><p>“Leti’s most recent pregnancy craving is apple strudels and I was on my way home from work, so I thought I’d swing by and pick up some for her. Figured why not knock out two birds with one stone.”</p><p>“What’s the second bird?” Elena questions, picking up a paper wrapping and grabbing three apple strudels from the glass casing. She puts them neatly in the light pink, cardboard box and slides it into a bag with <em> Treats &amp; Tricks </em> printed obnoxiously in cursive on it. </p><p>“Just wanted to check up on you,” he confesses. It isn’t a big reveal, just a statement. But Elena really takes it to heart.</p><p>“O-Oh,” she stutters, slowly sliding the bag across the counter to him. “That’s nice of you.”</p><p>“You haven’t been around much. Leti was starting to get worried.”</p><p>
  <em> Leti. Of course. It’s always about fucking, Leti. </em>
</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Yeah, she’s worried she might’ve scared you off,” he says. “She comes on a bit too strong at times, especially when she finds someone she really likes. And with her being pregnant its really just kicked it up into a higher gear.”</p><p>She wants to tell him the truth. Tell him that she’s avoiding her because Leti with her long, luscious hair, glowing skin and heart made of gold makes her sick to her stomach. Makes her feel like an awful human being. </p><p>“I’ve just been busy with school stuff. I go back to Berkeley next month, so I’ve been trying to get everything together,” Elena makes an excuse. It isn’t an entire lie. She has been preparing to return to her last year of school. It just isn’t taking as much time as she is trying to say it is</p><p>“Well, whenever you get a chance you should stop by. It’d mean a lot to Leti… and me.”</p><p>Elena looks up at him. His eyes sparkle and Elena can feel herself turning to mush. A large smile slips on her face. “Okay, I’ll try.”</p><p>She tries really hard the next day. She gets all the way out of her door before seeing their door open. Oscar is walking out in his uniform and Leti gives him a goodbye kiss. Not just a peck, but a kiss that makes Elena’s stomach churn.</p><p>Tears prick Elena’s eyes watching the scene before her before she runs back into her house, closing the door behind her. She can’t go see Leti. She hates Leti. And she hates herself for hating Leti for no reason other than the man that stood between them.</p><p>So, she stays in her home by herself. Carmen has only recently gotten a new phone, so she tries to text her to come over, but she’s at work. She spends the entire day watching shitty reality TV until a knock sounds on her door.</p><p>She doesn’t bother asking who it is before swinging it open. She immediately regrets that decision.</p><p>“Elena!" Leti greets, a smile stretching on her face.</p><p>“Leti… hi,” Elena says, completely caught off guard. “<em> Qué haces aquí? </em>”</p><p>“I wanted to see you!” she exclaims, stepping inside uninvited. “You’ve been kind of MIA.”</p><p>“Yeah, sorry. Things have been crazy going into my senior year.”</p><p>“You haven’t even answered my texts.”</p><p>“I broke my phone. Was going way too hard baking, but it’ll be fixed soon,” Elena lies, effortlessly. </p><p>And poor, dumb Leti believes her. “Oh, well that sucks. What are you doing now?”</p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p>“Uhhh…”</p><p>Leti begins to cry and Elena is taken aback. “Leti? Are you okay?”</p><p>“I just… I get so lonely,” she confides, wiping at her cheeks. “With Oscar working long hours. It’s just me and the bump all the time. I’m sorry if I was too forward with you, I just really enjoyed your company.”</p><p>“No, no,” Elena shakes her head. “You didn’t push me away. I just… have a lot going on right now. It’s not on you, I’ve got a lot of issues to deal with myself. I’m sorry I haven’t been a good friend.”</p><p>Leti sniffles, her crying coming to an end. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yeah. So sure.”</p><p>A small smile returns to Leti’s face and Elena internally rolls her eyes. <em> Fucking fuck me, </em> she thinks.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <b>AUGUST</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Bye Leti,” Elena hugs her tight. She pulls away and smoothes her hair. “Make sure you get a lot of rest. We need you strong when you get back so you can deliver this baby.”</p><p>“I promise I’ll be resting,” Leti assures her. </p><p>Elena, Angelica, Leti, Oscar and Leti’s mom are all standing in front of the Diaz household. Leti’s mother’s car is full of bags. Leti goes to hug Angelica. “Bye, Ang.”</p><p>“Bye, Leti. See you soon.”</p><p>When Leti makes it to Oscar, Elena averts her eyes. It hurts too much to watch them. Her feelings had grown so much in two months. And getting closer with Leti only made it worse. </p><p>“It’s time to go, mija,” Leti’s mother says.</p><p>Leti sadly nods and walks with her mother to the car. When she gets in the passenger seat she rolls the window down and smiles at the group. “See you guys in a week!” </p><p>“Bye!” everyone waves as she rides away.</p><p>“It’ll be okay, Oscar,” Angelica comforts him, putting a hand to his shoulder. “She needs this break. The week before delivery is stressful and she’s already been having a hard time. She’ll be home soon.”</p><p>Elena watches as Oscar tries to hold back tears. She frowns, thinks about what it’d take for him to care for her that much. Thinks about how long in the future it’ll take for him to cry when she leaves. How long it’ll take for him to love her as much as she loves him.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <b>SIX DAYS LATER</b>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s raining the day Elena kisses Oscar for the first time. </p><p>Leti comes home tomorrow and Oscar asks for her help to get the house ready for her and the baby that is scheduled to be delivered in two days. They had spent the week with each other. Usually Oscar would ask her to come share a beer after a long day at work or would ask her to accompany him on errands. Elena would never say no. The exhilaration of riding in his Impala with the windows down thrills her to the point she can’t speak sometimes. Whenever he yells something over the whopping and loud wind Elena would just turn to him, a giant smile on her face. Or she’d laugh or would simply nod, keeping her eyes closed as she enjoyed the wind on her face. </p><p>“Holy shit,” Oscar laughs, closing the door behind Elena. </p><p>“Fucking tell me about it,” Elena huffs, trying her best to ring the water out of her hair. Her clothes are soaked. They stick to her body and her tennis shoes feel mushy inside. “This rain is really fucking with my vibe.”</p><p>“Let me get you a change of clothes. I’ll be right back,” he tells her, disappearing down the hallway. </p><p>Elena’s eyes follow him as he walks away. She catches sight of herself in the round mirror hanging in their living room. She looks like a trainwreck. Even her makeup is smudged and blotty. </p><p>“Fuck,” she breathes out.</p><p>“Here you go,” Oscar returns, handing her a pile of clothes - a black wifebeater, basketball shorts and long tube socks. “Sorry, it was all I had.”</p><p>Elena laughs. “It’s fine. I’ll be right back.”</p><p>She goes to the bathroom and peels out of her disgusting clothes. She uses one of the towels to dab at her soaked skin, attempting to dry off completely. Before she puts on the fresh outfit, she scrubs at her face. No makeup is better than looking like a complete clown. Once she’s gotten her new clothes on she walks out of the bathroom, her ball of wet clothes in hand.</p><p>She walks back into the living room. Oscar is sitting on the couch, wiping down the coffee table. “Where can I put this?”</p><p>He looks up at her and stands. “Here, I’ll put it in the washer.”</p><p>He grabs the clothes from her then disappears once again. When he returns, it’s with two beers in hand. He hands one to her and she smiles. “Thanks.” She takes a swig and follows him to the couch.</p><p>“I gotta ask, this place looks kind of spotless,” she notes, taking a seat next to him. “I don’t know what extra cleaning you need my help with.”</p><p>“I actually just needed your baking expertise,” he admits. “I was really in the mood for some of your brownies, not gonna lie.”</p><p>“Oh my God, Oscar,” Elena laughs. “<em>De verdad</em> <em> ? </em> ” He nods. “You could’ve just told me that, <em>estúpido</em> <em> . </em>”</p><p>“Would you have come, though?”</p><p><em>Of course,</em> Elena thinks, <em>I’d come for anything you needed.</em></p><p>“I’d rather bake than clean. I probably would’ve gotten her ten minutes earlier if you said baking,” she jokes, earning a laugh from Oscar.</p><p>“I’ll remember that for next time, then.”</p><p>“Well, let’s see what the hell you got for me to bake with.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“How does it taste?” Elena questions, eyes hopeful as she looks up at him taking a bite.</p><p>He chews for awhile, pretends to think. Then shrugs, “They’re average.”</p><p>Elena’s jaw drops and Oscar can’t help the smile that slips onto his face. Upon the realization of his joke she wacks him with her hand. “Not funny!”</p><p>“Eh, it was a little funny,” he says. “But seriously, they’re fucking delicious as always, Elena.”</p><p>“That’s what I thought,” she rolls her eyes. </p><p>“I’ll handle clean up. You can sit down,” he gestures to the other side of the island and Elena nods, grabbing her beer and taking a seat. She unties the apron Oscar let her use and drapes it on the chair next to her as he washes out the batter bowl.</p><p>“Oscar,” Elena starts, her voice small. Oscar only hums in response. “Why don’t you ever talk about your life before Bakersfield?”</p><p>The words cause Oscar to pause in his tracks. Although, he tries to play it off as he continues. He shakes his head, says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“This is what I mean,” she gestures at him. “You get closed off and you like… shut down.”</p><p>“Elena,” he breathes, his voice taking on a tone that Elena had heard come from him before. He connects gazes with her, his eyes dark. “Don’t.”</p><p>Any reasonable person would’ve left it at that. Getting a peak into the old Oscar was enough to scare half the block away, but not Elena. Never Elena. “It’s fine,” she says, slipping from her seat. She inches closer to him as she speaks. “I know how shitty talking about the past can be, but I want you to know there’s no judgement here. I promise. I already know the worst.”</p><p>He drops the utensils he was cleaning in the sink. The loud clatter makes Elena jump. Oscar twists to her, his jaw and fists clenched. Suddenly, he’s towering over her, but Elena doesn’t back down. </p><p>“Yeah?” he challenges. “And what’s that?”</p><p>“I know you did time and were in a gang,” she reveals and Oscar blinks. “I also know you have a brother.”</p><p>He stares at her for a moment longer before sighing and standing down. He turns back to the sink, continuing to wash the dishes. “<em> Quién más sabe? </em> <em> ” </em></p><p>“Nobody,” Elena answers. “Well, Carmen does, but she has too many secrets herself to go around spreading other people’s. It’s just us two, not even my mom knows. And she doesn’t have to know. I just want you to be honest with me, Oscar. I should know who I’m spending all this time with.”</p><p>“I’ll tell you everything one day, Elena,” he swears, still refusing to meet eye contact. “Just not today.”</p><p>“Does…” she thinks about the question she’s about to ask. Is it necessary to know outside of her own jealousy? Probably not, but she asks anyways. “Does Leti know everything?”</p><p>“Leti lived most of it with me,” he says. “Wrote me while I was locked up. Visited me, took my little brother to visit me. She was there to hold me at my mom’s funeral. Was down to dip to Vegas with me when I asked the morning of just as much as she was down to hide me in her house when I had to lay low from whoever it was I was running from that day.” A moment of silence, then, “So to answer your question, yeah, Leti knows.”</p><p>Fire burned in the back of Elena’s throat and tears pricked at her eyes like thorns on a rose as what had been in front of her the entire time became clear. </p><p>
  <em> She had no chance. </em>
</p><p>It was always going to be Leti. A woman Oscar had known most of his life. A woman who had seen him at his worst and now his best. A woman that she definitely wasn’t. She was just the fucking neighbor. And it hurt worse than any other heartbreak Elena had suffered through. This didn’t just hurt her. It killed her.</p><p>Before she could stop it, tears begin streaming down her face and she begins to sob. Oscar turns to her, caught off guard. His eyebrows furrow together, but his eyes gleam with concern. He quickly drops the detergent and and grabs her arms.</p><p>“Elena?” he asks, concerned. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Elena can’t answer him. She can’t speak. She can only show him what's wrong. It isn’t a good idea nor is it the right time, but no time is the right time to kiss a married man you’ve fallen in love with. Oscar no doubtedly loves Leti more than he loves Elena. He would never leave the woman who held him down in fucking prison for her. This is the only time she could get the one thing she has been daydreaming about all summer. So, without a second thought, she leans in.</p><p>She expects Oscar's mouth to taste like a lot of things. Maybe beer, maybe the green jolly rancher which she learned were his favorite or maybe like cinnamon from the apple pie she made. Maybe he tastes like all of it combined, but Elena can't figure it out because he pushes her away before she can. </p><p>“Elena, what the hell!” he yells, backing up from her. </p><p>“I-I’m sorry,” she tries to get out between her sobs.</p><p>Oscar is awestruck by the girl he thought he knew standing in front of him, He watches as she seemingly crumples within herself. Her hand is over her mouth, trying to muffle the cries and her other hand is wrapped around her waist as if she is trying to hold herself. Looking at the state she is in, Oscar can’t even continue being surprised or upset by her actions. Kiss or not, it was Elena. A girl he grew to care for in the time he’d known her and he couldn’t leave her to break apart by herself.</p><p>“Hey, hey,” he coos, reaching out for her as he approaches. “Elena, it’s okay.”</p><p>Elena’s sobs die down a bit. Enough for her to say, “You love Leti.”</p><p>“I do,” he confirms and Elena sighs, closing her eyes. “And I’m sorry if I gave you any indication that I didn’t or that there was something between us.”</p><p>“I’m so fucking stupid!” Elena explodes, hitting the counter and Oscar shakes his head.</p><p>“You’re not stupid,” Oscar denies. “Elena, look at me.” She stops her pity party for a moment to look in his eyes - so brown, so honest and sincere. “I’m not upset. It’s alright, Elena.”</p><p>She stares into his eyes for a second longer. She takes a deep breath - breathes in all the courage she could muster in this completely embarrassing moment and says, “I love you.” A beat of silence, then, “Is that alright?”</p><p>“Elena,” Oscar starts and Elena closes her eyes in defeat. “I’m married.”</p><p>Tears begin to fall again and in her smallest voice, she says, “I know.”</p><p>“You’re a wonderful girl,” he begins. “You’re so talented and intelligent and beautiful. And someone will love you-”</p><p>“But not you,” Elena finishes, her tone harsh. The pity starting to become replaced with anger. “Is that right?”</p><p>“Elena-”</p><p>“I can come over here at your call and command. Go on store trips with you, help you guys clean and paint a nursery, hold your depressed wife when she cries, bake for you guys, but the moment I ask for something, it’s fuck Elena,” she rants, angrily.</p><p>“You’re asking me to cheat on my wife,” Oscar emphasizes, an incredulous look on his face. “A woman I’ve known since I was in middle school. A woman who is carrying my child.”</p><p>“What makes her so perfect?” Elena questions. “Because she’s ride or die? Well, so am I!”</p><p>“Elena, you need to go home.”</p><p>“Fuck you.”</p><p>Elena grabs the container of brownies she baked before storming out of the house, back into the pouring rain. She’s grateful for the fact her tears go unnoticed by others in the pouring rain. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It’s kind of ironic, really. Both of them packing their cars at the same time. Elena is going back to Berkeley and Oscar and Leti are going… somewhere else. Elena doesn’t know if Oscar told Leti what happened, but she notices after Leti returns from the hospital that Oscar starts bringing in hoards of boxes. Then, coincidentally on the day Elena and her mother are packing Elena’s car for her drive back to school, a Uhaul pulls up in front of their house. </p><p>The two families pack their cars without acknowledging each other. Elena has to admit, it hurts a little when her mom asks what happened with them and all Elena can remember are flashes of her night inside with Oscar while the rain poured outside. </p><p>She hasn’t even met their baby. She sees Leti holding something bundled in a pink blanket on her porch sometimes and even though she hates her, she’s happy the delivery was successful.</p><p>“That’s it,” Angelica celebrates, putting the last box in Elena’s trunk. </p><p>Elena hears the Uhaul’s back door come down and looks over to see Oscar latching it closed. He turns and sees her staring. He doesn’t smile or even acknowledge her presence. He, instead, turns to Leti who is walking outside, the pink bundle in her arms again. </p><p>“The diaper bag is already in the car, right?” Leti asks, walking up the walkway.</p><p>Oscar nods, meeting her halfway. He takes the pink bundle from her carefully. “Yeah, babe, it's already in there. Everything’s packed and the movers are coming to get the Uhaul in an hour. We’re ready to go as soon as we get her buckled in.”</p><p>Leti smiles and reaches up to give him a peck. “Great. Let’s get on the road then.”</p><p>Elena runs inside, ignoring the shouts from her mother asking her what she was doing and runs to the kitchen. She grabs the pink cookie tin and runs back outside. “Leti! Oscar!”</p><p>Oscar, who just finished buckling in the baby, stands and looks back at her as Leti who stood behind him watches Elena run up to them. “Elena, what’s up?”</p><p>“I’m really sorry to see you guys go,” Elena says, honestly. “I baked you guys a goodbye gift. The chocolate chip peanut butter cookies you’ve been asking me to bake since like July, Leti.”</p><p>A bright smile slips on Leti’s face as she takes the tin from Elena. She opens it and picks up one of the dark cookies sitting on the top. She takes a bite, her eyes closing as she tries to take in the flavor.</p><p>“Did they live up to your expectations?” Elena asks, hopeful.</p><p>“They succeeded as always,” Leti compliments. She brings Elena in for a small hug. When she backs away, she looks at her, her light brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight. “I’ll miss you, Elena. Maybe you can come visit us in-”</p><p>“We gotta go, Leti,” Oscar interrupts and Leti sighs. </p><p>“Tell your mom bye for me. I’ll text you,” Leti promises and Elena nods.</p><p>She watches as the couple hop in the car. Oscar gives Elena one last glance before pulling off from the curb and taking off down the street. Elena watches it disappear around the corner, tears filling her eyes. She sucks them up before walking back over to her mother. </p><p>“Okay, I think it's time for me to go, mama.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I don’t know why you had to be so mean,” Leti shakes her head as Oscar stops at a red light. “I didn’t even get to introduce her to Luna.”</p><p>“We had to get going before traffic got heavy and your goodbyes take centuries, babe,” Oscar says, sliding on his sunglasses.</p><p>Leti blows raspberry and rolls her eyes. “Lies. And this isn’t LA, it’s Bakersfield and it’s a Saturday, so try again. Why can’t you just tell me what happened that caused us to move so suddenly?”</p><p>“You trust me, don’t you, Leti?”</p><p>She looks over at her husband. “Of course I do.”</p><p>“Then, just trust me that we couldn’t stay there.”</p><p>“Did Elena do something? I just don’t understand.”</p><p>“You don’t have to,” he replies. The light turns green and he begins driving again. “Just know every decision I make is for our family. Every decision I make is for you and Luna’s best interest.”</p><p>“But Oscar, I just-”</p><p>Leti suddenly stops talking. Oscar assumes its because she’s trying to find the right words, but when more than ten seconds pass he takes his eyes off the rode and looks at her. She’s sitting in the passenger seat, gripping at her own throat. Her skin is sweaty and pale. </p><p>“Leti?!” Oscar yells, stomping on the breaks. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I-I can’t breathe,” Leti spits out in short gasps. Oscar unbuckles her seatbelt and grabs her on both sides of her neck, turning her to him. </p><p>“Leti, baby! Talk to me!”</p><p>Her throat continues to close up, her pale skin turning purple. Oscar ignores all the honking and yelling as he watches Leti struggle to breathe. In less than a minute her eyes flutter closed and her body goes limp. </p><p>Oscar begins to cry as he attempts to hold Leti’s lifeless body up. “Leti! Leti! Wake up! Please!”</p><p>She never does, though. Not even when the paramedics arrive twenty minutes later and take her body away in a black bag.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Elena drives on the highway, the windows down and lapping at her hair. Her car heads west instead of north. She can’t go back to school. She can’t stay in California. She has to go far, far away. She doesn’t know where she’s going yet, but she knows she’ll know when she finds the perfect place.</p><p>Catching her reflection in her rear view mirror, Elena doesn’t recognize herself. She looks like Elena, for sure. But she doesn’t <em> feel </em>like Elena. </p><p>
  <em> She feels more free.  </em>
</p><p>As she stares at the open road ahead of her, she apologizes to Leti once more. She never thought this would’ve ended the way it did, but the hurt she felt that night couldn’t be compared. And after getting heartbroken so many times, she thought it was necessary for the ones who hurt her to know what hurt felt like. To know how much it could break a person.</p><p>Then maybe they’d understand just how strong Elena was for how she bounced back every time.</p><p>She looks at her reflection in the driver’s side mirror this time. She brings her fingers up to her lips, a small smile on her face.</p><p><em> They would’ve tasted like chocolate and beer, </em> she comes to the conclusion, <em> and they would’ve felt heavenly.  </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>welp.... that escalated quickly. kind of thinking about turning this into a series, so let me know if you guys would like me to continue oscar and elena's story!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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